My partner and I went on a date last night and the fare was awesome. The food was great and it was affordable and we could see ourselves coming back there for another go. We really enjoy each other’s company and honestly cannot go on a date without laughing and having fun. We decided to order drinks and they were tasty but almost devoid of alcohol. It was interesting trying the different cocktails and tasting the creations that the bartender could whip up. Then it hit me, we have changed. We used to drink to get drunk and party. We used to drink to forget about the stressors of the week. We used to drink to numb physical pain. We were only social drinkers once a week, but honestly drinking heavily started feeling more like a chore than fun. We were running away from ourselves and the work that needs to be done. It put a spotlight on the things within myself that I have been neglecting: getting better with finances, maintaining/improving the current level of my mental health, keeping a tidy house. The list can go on and on, but those are my top three. I didn’t realize that changing can be so noticeable. It was like turning a very sharp corner driving and feeling the movement in my body. Drinking heavily doesn’t serve the life I want to live or the bank account amount that I want to achieve. Drinking heavily doesn’t foster great relationships with others and myself. It can be fun, but honestly I do not need more fun in my life. I want more financial stability. I want creativity. I want to feel what I have been outrunning instead of numbing it down. I cannot do those things when I am clutching the ground, retching up the decisions/regrets that I made hours ago. So, things are different now, and that’s ok.

Update to previous posts: I have finally used up two products! I honestly felt good to use them up knowing that I paid for it and utilized it fully, getting my money’s worth!

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday and as always, much emotional spending love,

Elle B.